What Does “Your Body Keeps the Score” Really Mean?

What Does “Your Body Keeps the Score” Really Mean?

You may have heard the phrase “the body keeps the score.” It often resonates with people immediately, even before they fully understand it.

The phrase reflects something many trauma survivors notice: even when the event is over, the impact is not.

You may not think about what happened every day. You may not even consciously remember certain details. And yet your body reacts.

Your shoulders tense during conflict.
Your stomach drops when someone raises their voice.
You shut down when things feel emotionally intense.
You feel exhausted for no clear reason.

The body is responding to patterns it learned in order to protect you.

Trauma Is Stored as Experience, Not Just Memory

When something overwhelming happens, your system prioritizes survival. The focus is not on making meaning. It is on getting through.

If there was not enough safety, support, or time to process what happened, your nervous system may store the experience in a raw form. That stored experience can show up as:

• Quick emotional reactions

• A sense of danger in neutral situations

• Numbness or detachment

• Difficulty trusting

• Chronic tension or fatigue

• Feeling “too much” or “not enough”

You might tell yourself, “This should not bother me anymore.” But your nervous system is not operating on logic. It is operating on past learning.

The Body Remembers What the Mind Tries to Move Past

One reason this concept is powerful is that it reduces shame. If your body is still reacting, it does not mean you are dramatic, weak, or broken. It means your system adapted.

For example, if you grew up walking on eggshells, your body may still brace when someone’s tone changes. If you experienced betrayal, your body may tighten when someone gets close emotionally.

These responses often happen automatically. They are not conscious choices.

Over time, those patterns can shape how you relate, how you communicate, and how safe you feel in relationships.

Why This Matters for Healing

Understanding that trauma lives in the body changes how we approach healing.

If trauma were only a thought problem, positive thinking would fix it. If it were only a memory problem, talking about it once would resolve it.

But healing often involves helping the body experience something different in the present. That might include:

• Learning to notice early signs of stress

• Practicing grounding and slowing down

• Building emotional regulation skills

• Processing unresolved experiences safely

• Experiencing consistent, safe connection

As your nervous system begins to feel safer, your reactions gradually shift. You may still remember what happened, but it no longer controls your responses in the same way.

Healing Is About Integration

Healing does not mean erasing the past. It means integrating it.

The memory becomes something that happened rather than something that is still happening inside your body.

You may notice you recover more quickly from stress. You may feel more choice in how you respond. You may feel less on edge and more connected.

These shifts are often subtle, but they are meaningful.

A Final Thought

If your body still reacts to things that your mind believes you are “over,” there is nothing wrong with you. Your system learned to survive. It can also learn to feel safe again.

Healing is not about forcing yourself to move on. It is about giving your nervous system the support it may not have had at the time.

Reference:
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.