How to Find the Right Therapist forYou

Starting therapy can feel vulnerable enough—trying to figure out who to see shouldn’t make it harder. The truth is, finding the right therapist is less about credentials on paper and more about how safe, understood, and supported you feel in the room.

Here are a few things that can actually help.

1. Pay attention to how you feel, not just what they say
A good therapist doesn’t need to have all the perfect answers. What matters most is whether you feel heard, respected, and comfortable being honest. If you leave sessions feeling judged, rushed, or unseen, that’s important information. Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship is one of the biggest predictors of success. You feeling comfortable enough to be completely open in session is important.

2. It’s okay to “interview” them
You’re allowed to ask questions. In fact, you should. Many therapists will offer free consultation calls. Take advantage of that! Ask about their approach, experience with what you’re dealing with, and what sessions typically look like. If you do a few consultation calls, you will often be able to see which therapist you "click" with best. A therapist who’s a good fit will welcome your curiosity.

3. Give it a few sessions—but trust your gut
Not every session will feel amazing, especially early on. Some discomfort is normal. You and the therapist both need time to get to know one another and build rapport. However, there’s a difference between growth discomfort and feeling consistently uneasy or dismissed. If something feels off, it’s okay to listen to that. Trust yourself!

4. Ask what modalities they use
Have you done therapy before and really loved a certain modality? Perhaps there's a modality you really didn't enjoy. You can ask therapists what modalities they use. If you are not familiar with any modalities, you can ask them to tell you some information about the modalities they use and what it entails in your consult call.

5. You’re allowed to change your mind
You’re not “quitting” or failing if a therapist isn’t the right fit. You’re advocating for yourself. Ending or changing therapists can be part of the process, not a step backward.

Therapy works best when you feel like you don’t have to perform or explain yourself constantly. The right therapist helps you feel more like yourself—not someone you’re trying to impress.